So here I go, I am not sure who would ever read this but this blog isn't for me to have followers. I am merely blogging to vent openingly...
The latest issue on the table. Friendships. The give, the take, the reciprocal appreciation of two people. Well lately I have come to the realization of the type of people I have allowed into my life.
I am always the one to help the helpless, listen when peoples words fall on to deaf ears, give advice when it is asked of, but when it comes to me, me needing that back, only a few people come to my mind that haven't let me down. I get it we all have lives but so do I and you know what that didn't stop me from being there when you needed me.
I have let so called "friends" into my life, my feelings and my home. The disgusting part of it all is having one day figure out or realize it was not a friendship at all. That it was a convenience to that person. A one sided conversation, that even when you explain how you feel towards this "friendship" they still use the dummy card.
You don't like how I am behaving well it is how you have been treating me, rude isn't it?
Don't ask me to do you a favor like hold your things in my garage and then only when I ask "when can you pick them up or can I throw it away?" Then you FINALLY respond to that text but none of my other text from the day before, LITERALLY. Or how about when you needed someone to vent about all the drama your significant other and you are having and then the next day comes and you ask how my day is, and when I respond to your message a few minutes later about how I am and you're MIA... for weeks.
I have had a friend who has even hooked up with a girlfriend of mine behind my back one year and she contacted me years later, and granted I was weak, so hung on and listened to her "I am sorry" but then then it hit me when she said "Monica, you have to understand, I have to learn to trust you too." This. Female. This female had the audacity to say I would have to work on earning her trust. In that moment I was snapped back into reality, real quick and I scratched that off my "people I forgive list" Yea it's a list because they're so many of them that have wronged me. Don't get me wrong either about it, I have tough skin when it comes to issues but these people have done damage, legitimate damage to be on that list.
Sadly, yet again I have been snapped back into reality. Although it didn't take me that long like before to realize it was a wake up call to these supposed friendships.
